I never imagined myself being with a big girl. It was never something I fantasized about. Sure, I’ve had casual sex with a few big girls in the past (or took one for the team) but I’ve never actually dated any. Most of them were one night stands, or what I like to call “one and done”. That all changed when I met my ex. She was strikingly gorgeous, educated but noticeably overweight. In the beginning of our friendship, I never gave her the time of day or took any of our conversations too seriously. I could go days or even weeks without talking to her. We spoke candidly on several occasions. Really, it was no big deal.
Over time we became close friends. Eventually, I grew to like her for who she was despite of her body. I admired her confidence and she was very independent. I fell in love during a vulnerable time in my life. We lasted a little over 9 months until our relationship fell apart. Here is a list of 10 things I’ve learned while dating a big girl.
1. I’m Not Attracted To Big Women
I mean, who was I kidding? I knew this all along but I was in denial (better known as love). Don’t get me wrong she was beautiful in the face. She had pretty eyes, nice teeth, juicy lips and long hair. She kept her pum pum clean and was pretty much a germaphobe. At times when she stripped down naked, it just didn’t do anything for me. I would try my best to keep it up, but at the end of the day I failed.
2. I Didn’t Feel As Threatened
I know this is a sucker thing to say but I wasn’t too worried about someone taking her from me. I knew guys would try to talk to her from time to time but I was confident. As far as I knew, she hadn’t had a real boyfriend in years.
3. Not To Settle
I never had a thing for larger women but there are plenty of men out there that do. See, I fell in love with this girl. We started out long distance as friends and I grew in love with her as a person. Eventually, this made me feel weak and my ego took a hit. There are millions upon millions of hot women in the world. I began to ask myself, is this the best I can do?
4. I Rarely Initiate Sex
I could go days without even thinking about having sex with her.
5. Sex Required More Energy
Yeah that’s right, more work. I couldn’t toss her around like I would a slim chick.
6. I Hate Shopping For Clothes
Buying my ex-girlfriend Victoria Secret was out of the question. She had me shopping at ASOS, Ashley Stewart, Lane Bryant and Boohoo. She would always order a size too big and preferred her clothes to be lose fitting (which made her look even bigger). I wanted her to squeeze into something tight. Occasionally, I got my wish.
7. Love Can Be Deceiving
She would always say, “You love the idea of being in love” and maybe she was right. I remember being so blinded by love in the beginning. Just because you love someone, doesn’t mean that the both of you are meant to spend the rest of you’re lives together. There were moments when I would entertain the thought of marriage.
8. I Can’t Change People
She was comfortable in her own skin and was fully acceptable of her body. I doubt if there was a way that I could turn her into a fitness model. I couldn’t stuff salads down her throat. Honesty, she was a very clean eater. I never forced her to lose weight. I never criticized her verbally. I may have subconsciously done things to make her feel less attractive.
9. To Be Honest
Don’t waste time dating someone that you are not physically attracted to. Be honest with yourself and others. I do not regret my experiences with my ex. What I can and will say is that I have no intentions on dating another big girl in the future.
10. Big Girls Need Love Too
This is absolutely true. I’m sure there are plenty of men who live by this logic. There is nothing wrong with dating a big girl. A large majority of women are overweight. Find you one to love.
