Wellington Snipes

You’ve had the longest day at work and all you desire is to get home, eat, maybe watch a bit of television, and sleep. Yet, when you walk in the door, you are immediately barraged with all these crazy questions. Now, these questions are crazy to you but they would never be crazy to her. These questions are only things that a woman would really care about because she’s had all day to think about them. Be advised, this mainly applies to a woman working a part time job or not having a job at all. A working woman would usually never ask these questions because she understands the rigors of corporate/blue collar America. When these questions start rolling out of her face and into your ears, you get frustrated. You respond, but in a way that immediately conveys annoyance. This leads to her getting mad at you because she wants to know why you have an attitude. Well, you’ve been working all day, dealing with a significant portion of jerk faces and the last thing you want to hear when you walk in the house is something you believe to be a stupid question. Let’s face the facts for a second, women just don’t understand this. The reason why you ask? It is because she believes that she has been working just as hard all day but remember you still have extra stuff do when you get home, and most of the time she’s been comfortable or within arms reach of it all day. Now, for the ten things guys don’t care about.

#1. What You Cook For Dinner

We hunger for food almost always. Most of us are meat eaters (at least the real men anyway) and could care less as long as it tastes good. Chicken, fish, beef, pasta, you name it and we will most likely devour it without complaining. Then we will tell you it was good, maybe help clean up and carry on with the night.

#2. How You Decorate The Living Room

You can buy whatever curtains you want, reupholster the couches and arm chairs, paint the walls pink, whatever, As long as it doesn’t interfere with the path to the T.V., the bathroom, the kitchen, or any other facility we might need at a moments notice. Please stop asking us,” What do you think about these drapes babe?”

#3. Your Hair Style

If we are dating you, then we most likely trust your style choices. Unless you do something super drastic (i.e. shave it all off) we probably won’t care to much. You know what we think is sexy and if you stay within those parameters, we can probably deal with it.

#4. Your Grocery Store Adventure

Unless you got into a super fight with some old lady over the last jar of salsa, we really aren’t concerned with how long you had to wait. I don’t want to hear that you went all the way to the right side of the store for bread, before finally realizing that you bypassed it when you came in. I don’t care that plums were half price today or that you got lucky grabbing the last available cart. #IDGAF

#5. That Cindy, From The House Three Doors Down May Or May Not Be Talking Trash About You

Seriously? Address the issue, beat her up or just forget about it.

#6. That We Were Finally Right About Something

You don’t have to let us know. We knew we were right when we said it, we just didn’t want to argue about it for hours trying to convince your woman mind of our logic. It took you two years to accept something we told you in ten minutes.

#7. Some Guy Hit On You Today

Did you bang him? No. Then we don’t care. Tell me if it’s some guy at a place you frequent during the day, who won’t quit after you’ve told him no numerous times. Then, we will intervene.

#8. That You Are Mad

We expect you, the woman to mad at us consistently. Most of the time we don’t even know what you are mad about, so we just believe to be a state of existence for you and keep on moving along.

#9. What Your Friends Think

Your friends don’t live in this house. Your friends don’t sleep with us at night. Most likely they are upset because you now have a happy relationship and can’t live the single life like you used to. They will try everything they can to manipulate the events going on in our household and because you are a woman, you feed right into it. Don’t bring your friends personal feelings up in a conversation that concerns us.

#10. That You Don’t Understand Our Love For Sports

I don’t ask you why you’re upset when the dish detergent runs out, don’t ask me why I’m upset if my favorite teams quarterback throws an interception.

Batman stole all his stuff from me. I could totally beat up Liam Neeson.