We live in an unforgiving time for men where our mistakes are more pronounced and open than ever. Commit a crime as a public figure and TMZ will be all over it. Commit a crime as a non-public figure and a text message is sure to be sent informing those who know you about what you did. The fact is anything we do that is considered against social norms could potentially be held against us until we leave this earth (and even sometimes longer than that).
As human beings, it is natural for us to have deep feelings about specific crimes – often because we have been a victim of them or are/were close to someone who has been a victim. No one can argue with that logic. If you’ve lost a family member to murder, your sensitivity to senseless killing is incredibly high. We are not here to try and change your mind on that. Your stance is your stance deservedly so.
Is it possible to stand in the belief that one crime or sin is not greater than the other? I don’t know. But what I do know that it seems more difficult to forgive some crimes or sin than others. Again, this relates to our human side consuming us more than we may realize.
Imagine for a brief moment the family who has the daunting task of trying to piece back together the fragments of their lives after the senseless murder of a loved one. What do they do? How do they begin to get back to a place of normalcy? Is normalcy really possible? All valid things to ponder and more importantly, to process as they try to get through it.
What if a man puts his hands on woman? Or if he has been accused of it? We all have some idea of what this does to her. But what this act or the very accusation of the act do to him? How is he perceived going forward by the general public? Can his friends and family truly stand by him as he navigates the accusation of assaulting a woman with whom he is in a relationship?
Will society in general ever look at a guy the same when they become aware he put his hands on a woman violently? Do you listen to Chris Brown’s music without thinking about his situation with Rihanna? Will you ever watch Ray Rice run the ball without thinking the incident in the elevator with his wife? Has Mel Gibson or Charlie Sheen had the same career since being involved in domestic violence?
Get the point? There are some things that you never really get your reputation back after doing. I’d subscribe that domestic violence is number one on that list. You know the obvious thing it does to you and your significant other. But there are many outliers that you can’t control once you commit the act. On no level is it worth it. If you don’t believe that, ask anyone who has been accused of it.
Maybe domestic violence is unforgivable; maybe it is not. But one thing is for sure. It is an unforgettable reputation killer once you do it. She may forgive you but society is less forgiving. Just something to think about…
