Jeremy Mast

Women. Just when you think you have them, it’s the other way around…they have you. A riddle wrapped in an enigma of emotion and sexual attraction. As much as you would want to be rid of them, they are so necessary! I mean, sexy, blonde (insert other hair colors), tall or short, thick or slim, boxes filled up with warm goodness. Oh Yum! Nom Nom, I just got distracted, give me a second…..

Ok, I’m back. There is an infinite number of them to love and choose from that it can’t be helped that you will love more than one during your lifetime. However, this means that you must go through the occasional break up. Have you ever wondered why they get so angry? More so, the different levels of anger from each one? This problem has a simple solution that I will share with all of you.

Think of your ex girlfriends. Now think of what they gave to you and vice versa. The more that was given during the relationship, the more angry they will be when you call it quits. See…you’re thinking material items (cars, jewels, clothing, etc.). That’s not what I’m getting at, not in the slightest. I’m talking about things you can’t touch, well….wait, you can touch but not purchase. Well, you can purchase….oh rats, let me just tell you. There are a few things that a woman can give to you or that you can give to them (besides and STD) that make them angrier than (insert nasty animal sex joke comparison).

I was going to create a tier list of 3-4 events that raise the madness bar to max levels upon breakup, but I’m sure you know of these already. What you don’t know is the one magic moment that creates an extinction level event in your immediate area when you decide to call it quits. Ready? A…N…A…L S…E…X.

Now many of you are reading and thinking, “That’s not such a big deal, I get the back door all the time”. See, for us guys it’s just a another sexual act but for them it’s totally giving in. In the animal kingdom particularly with dogs, anal sex is a form of domination, with this one party is totally submissive to the other. With that in mind, a woman that allows you to penetrate her delicious booty temple is giving herself to you completely. If you are within the first few people to experience this delight (It’s one of two places you can cum inside her with any possibility at all of her getting pregnant) then prepare for the worst. What I’ve learned is that if you have many sexual firsts with a woman, the attachment is that much stronger in her mind, so when you spring that “b” bomb (breakup) on her it ignites a fury seen by few (or many) on this earth. You should definitely be preparing for the worst.

If she gives you butt sex on the first night then you have nothing to worry about and its obvious that the behavior is common practice.

Batman stole all his stuff from me. I could totally beat up Liam Neeson.