woman by fence

Most humans enjoy the pleasurable act of sex, some more than others. Some let sex control the decisions relating to relationships such as who they date, marry, or have casual sex with. One thing humans can’t do is enter the mind of the person they’re involved with. In any type of relationship, the one thing that truly matters is LOVE.

What are the signs that the woman you’re dating and having awesome sex with isn’t just lust but, actually LOVE? I have 5 signs that will tell you what you’re experiencing! Keep in mind the best sources for the answers is you and for a definitive answer ask the woman how she feels!

Sign #1: If you can spend the rest of your relationship with the woman you’re dating without having sex starting TODAY, and not have sex with any other woman then this is Love, NOT LUST. Guys, we all know it’s common to have a side chick (jump off) while we wait. The true sign you’re down for your new lady is when you decline sex from others, at very least you respect your current lady and it’s a sign it’s possibly love and not lust.

Sign #2: When you are around her, the only thing you think about isn’t sex! Some of us have been with women and all we think about is sex. This is LUST! It’s hard to decipher between LUST and a healthy sexual relationship, it’s very difficult indeed so don’t be too hard on yourself.

Sign #3: You go a significant amount of time without sex and don’t even realize it’s been a week or more and you’ve been around each other. Time should pass by without it being about physical pleasure with your lady being the centerpiece. Trust yourself “IF” you’re looking for a long term foundation that creates a healthy relationship for years to come. If you must sex your woman, it doesn’t mean it’s a relationship based on sex but, it’s hard to decipher if it is or isn’t. Some relationships thrive for years based on sex but most don’t. Most feelings of what we call LOVE fade and these feelings are kin to sex most of the time. Be sure it’s not sex but, LOVE!

Sign #4: When your lady says, “NO” regarding sex and you don’t get upset, leave, make her leave your place, or treat her different. Many guys have heard, “I don’t feel like it,” “I have a headache,” and hey, we can’t be sure if she’s not feeling us or if it’s legit. We can control how we react. If you fall back when she says no and it doesn’t change your feelings for her then it’s not just the physical! I have had several sexual relationships, and looking back I couldn’t see the issues until it was over. 99% of relationships are driven and feed by sex. Bottom-line, it’s the 1% of relationships that work based on really liking her for who she is that works! I didn’t truly like my exes because who they were wasn’t my FOCUS. Sex diluted who they all were, so make sure you know her. If you can’t be with her or around her without getting sex then it’s a sure sign it’s LUST DRIVEN, and no mistaking what this one means.

Sign #5: You actually think about her all the time and it’s not the sexual encounters such as when she made you laugh. It was a comment that she made about politics and it impressed you. Sex should be balanced with the other parts of your relationship. When you’re not having sex, what do you talk about? Can you converse with her? Is she easy to talk to or difficult? I don’t have any answers just some suggestions and questions you should ask yourself regarding who you’re dating and if you’re wasting your time or hers.
In closing, LIFE is extremely short. To the 25 or 30 year old reading this it seems years away before being old will be a reality but, the truth is before you know it you’re 35 then 40 and on and on. I’m not to my on and on point yet but, if we are blessed we get to be on and on years old, LOL. Until then, it’s vital we realize our bad decisions as well as how we can do better because YOUNG FOOLS BECOME OLD FOOLS, AND QUICKLY LOL.

If all you want is sex and fun like my ex told me when we divorced that’s great, just as long as both know this is the foundation of what you both have and agree, it’s fair. There is NOTHING WRONG with a relationship based on ONLY SEX as long as both agree. My column is aimed at men who are either tired of going from lady to lady and want to settle down or just can’t find the right woman and need help seeing what to look for when they get one. Don’t take my column for something it’s not and that’s a dictatorship to the readers. Ultimately we should do what’s best for us but make sure that what’s best for you isn’t foolish. I LOVE pizza and fettuccine but, it’s not good for me; as an adult I can eat what I please. What’s best for me is not always what I’d like to eat.

Relationships are like the food we eat. We mostly prefer what’s quick and easy in relationships just like our food. The healthiest relationships take time, thought and nourishment just like the foods we eat need to be beneficial for our diets so we become healthy. We are what we eat as we are what we do in relationships and we can’t expect a healthy relationship without healthy acts to match. I love pizza and fettuccine but apples, kale and non-fat foods are better for me as they are for all of us. So you can either have a healthy relationship or one that just feels good despite how unhealthy it is long or short term.

With LOVE as my WEAPON and GOD as my TEACHER. And to the non religious, with LOVE as my WEAPON and THE UNIVERSE as my TEACHER.