It is amazing that after all this time and so called “evolution” of the sexes, there is still some disconnect. There are just certain things men do or like to do that the woman in your life will not get. Obviously there are exceptions but all in all, she won’t always see eye to eye with your idiosyncrasies.
Without further ado:
- She won’t get why you watch the sports networks constantly: How many times can one person watch SportsCenter? What she doesn’t know is that up until a few years ago, her query would’ve been valid. But now, SportsCenter is live every hour on the hour after 9AM eastern time, so it makes perfect sense for you to watch it every time it comes on because there might be late breaking news. Seriously, most guys love sports. So of course our TVs are often tuned into something sports related. It’s genetically programmed in us – especially if we played sports growing up.
THE EXCEPTION – If you are one of the fortunate few who is in a relationship with a fellow sports junkie. God Bless You for finding her. She, like you, may have played competitively growing up or even in some cases, college ball. She gets pissed with you if you change the channel to something other than sports. She is competitive so she gets your fascination with all things sports.
- She doesn’t understand why you look at other women: This is two-fold. First, she knows you look at other women. This probably isn’t a big deal unless you are with an incredibly jealous or insecure woman. Second, you look at other women when you are with her. This is a problem for her. She views it as disrespectful to her. Obviously, there are billions of women in the world. You notice the occasional attractive female (who happens to have a nice butt or an impressive chest). It isn’t so much that you notice her – it is when you gawk, your facial expression changes or you even get real dumb and say something out loud. You have to learn to temper that behavior. You can notice when you are with her – just don’t stare.
THE EXCEPTION – You are in a relationship with the most beautiful or secure woman in the world (good luck meeting that). She is so cool that she even points out attractive women to you when she is with you just so you don’t miss out on a chance to look. If you’re dating Scarlett Johansson and Beyonce walks in the room, Scarlett is cool with you checking out Beyonce and you don’t have to worry about hearing about it later on. (For the record – this should be called an ANOMOLY, not an EXCEPTION)
- She doesn’t understand why you have more fun with your guy friends than her: This is an interesting one. It is not that you have more fun with your guy friends; it is just a different type of fun. Depending on the circumstances of your friendships, generally nothing is off limits when you hang out with your boys. Jokes are free flowing and so are the drinks. Additionally if the frequency of hanging is limited – you tend to want to live it up a little more with your friends because it is not something you do all the time. It is one of those rare moments where you’re not concerned about someone’s feelings and you get to be just one of the guys.
THE EXCEPTION – You have the fortunate pleasure of being with a woman who strongly encourages you to go out with your friends; not just because she likes going out with hers but because she doesn’t want you to get bored or lost in the relationship. Furthermore, she may be the woman is who is just as cool hanging with your friends like she is one of the boys.
- She doesn’t understand why you want/need female friends: Our need for female interaction outside of our relationship can and often will drive her nuts. Most women want to be your everything when they are with you in a relationship. Any perceived outside influence in her mind can be a detriment to that. This is especially true if she has never met or been acquainted with your female friends. What she doesn’t know is that there is a good chance that your female friends are strictly platonic. That doesn’t matter to her. Another vagina in your life equals a potential threat to her.
THE EXCEPTION – This one typically has no exception. Although there may be moments where she may cool with it – they are likely to be few and far between. It is possible she’ll be absolutely cool with you having female friends – if they were her friends first. Also, once she gets to know your female friends she might be warmer to the idea of you having them in your circle. But don’t get too crazy – your girl is still a woman and she will act accordingly if she senses something is not quite right.
- She won’t understand if you stay in contact with your ex: This is yet another thing that can bring unnecessary chaos into the world of your relationship. She will not be happy about the contact. You will know that she is not happy – passively or aggressively. Honestly, she doesn’t see the purpose for the continued constant contact. If asked, can you give an explanation that will make her feel any better about it? Probably not. Most women will be okay with you being cordial in passing or even friendly if you happen to run into your ex. But speaking regularly – big no-no. It doesn’t matter if you and your current lady have a great relationship. She doesn’t want to feel like you might tell your ex anything about her.
THE EXCEPTION – The primary exception is if you and the ex share a child or children together. She is a woman – she’ll be okay with it if it remains strictly about the child/children. Other exceptions are if you work with the ex and the contact is strictly work related. But don’t press your luck with this one. She is still a woman.
Of course these are just a few examples of things she won’t typically understand about you and unfortunately using the excuse “it’s a man thing” won’t fly. You can only hope to be with someone who doesn’t blow up when you want to do something for you that is independent of her. It is wise to ask yourself “If the shoe were on the other foot, would I be as understanding as I want from her?” Food for thought….
