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One of the beauties of the interaction between men and women is that when we allow ourselves, we can gain a deeper knowledge base of each other’s inner workings. Of course, will we never completely understand every idiosyncrasy about each other but that is a part of what makes this thing called life incredibly interesting.

Most guys would call women in general difficult to understand. They wonder why she is driven by her emotions. They wonder what makes her tick. Some even go so far as to wonder about her thoughts, her past and her pain. However deep it may go for you – one thing is clear. You can get lost trying to comprehend the soul of a woman.

Soul is a not an easy thing to define or quantify. It’s spiritual so it cannot be seen by the eye. It’s immaterial so it cannot be touched by the hand. To get to its real meaning requires a depth that not every guy possesses. Unfortunately, guys are often too simple-minded to consider just how vital the soul of a woman is to her being. She is much more than a pretty face or a toned body. Her joy embodied can come in the form of a smile from her lips or tears from her eyes (and sometimes this happens simultaneously). Her touch can be a source of comfort for those who come into contact with it and a source of pain for those who raise her ire.  To minimize these things as purely an outward expression is not only crazy – it chains the impact her soul plays in the woman she is and is meant to become.

The soul of a woman is recognized much earlier than most guys realize. Even in her innocence as a young girl, she starts coming to grips with her soul. It is what sets her apart. It is what makes her special. It is what makes her difficult to understand and in some cases deal with for a significant length of time. Her soul is what makes her want to be close to you in one moment and in the next desiring her need for some space. This not crazy – this is a part of the complex creature she was made to be for herself (and ultimately for you).

Her being is important to her and if her soul is the source of her being by default it makes her soul important to her. She does not take this lightly. Even if you don’t completely understand this concept – she still expects you to cherish it because of its value to her. The moment you don’t value it (i.e. the moment she begins to feel that you don’t take it seriously) is the moment she will start to question the validity and viability of your relationship. Don’t believe what I am saying? Get into a seriously involved relationship with a woman. Discover what her essence is all about. Is it her source of comfort when no one is there to console her. It is what gives her the ability to be strong in the face of uncertainty. It is what heals her emotional state when it has been beaten by the trials of life. It is what makes her go when going seems less than possible.

When a man comes into her world and there is a connection, how does he become an intricate part of her being? What does his mere presence do to her? How does he make her feel without so much as a touch? When he holds her, does she feel an esoteric and almost unexplainable comfort?

Too often, the limits of being a provider have largely been restrained to the confines of financial. Take the cavemen. Cavemen were extremely primitive by today’s standard. But they were the men of their time. Going out, hunting to provide nourishment for their family was not only expected – it was required for survival. It is highly unlikely that these men were evolved enough to truly understand the depths of their role. Hunt, kill, drag home for food. Simple. If he did not possess enough depth to understand their own role as cavemen, how much wisdom was there to embrace and acknowledge the role the women played in the survival process? One would guess none was available to even give it remote consideration.

Fast forward thousands of years later and the eventual evolution of mankind. How many males still operate with the caveman mentality? Sure it is simple to qualify your ability as a man by pointing out that you take care of home and that your woman wants for nothing. But is it ever that simple – even if she acts like it is no big deal?  Her yearning for a deeper connection to you isn’t always evident but it doesn’t make it any less important to her. Her essence desires it even if she isn’t evolved or capable enough to verbalize it.

One of the disadvantages of guys constantly being busy with work or extracurricular activities is that takes away from the time he can spend with his lady. If you haven’t done this is a while – take an hour or two and just sit with her. Talk with her about nothing related to responsibilities or bills. Just talk about your inner most thoughts and hear hers. Look into her eyes. Connect with her in a way that has nothing to do with sex (or trying to have sex). Attempt as best as possible to gain some insight into her soul. Learn something new about her you didn’t know. Find out about her new interests or hobbies or books she’s read.  Take what you’ve learned about her and find a way to support her in it. BE THERE.

Let’s take it a step even further. When is the last time you just held her without wanting anything from her? When’s the last time you rubbed her shoulders, back or feet just because you wanted to? I’m not saying this is a necessity but it goes a long way to having a greater connection to her. Do you have any idea what this does for her? How it makes her soul feel?

I can promise you there is no shame as a man showing her that you cherish and adore what she was made to be. Any fool who tells you otherwise is well… a fool. The possession of a soul is without question but its intended effect on whom and what we are as men and women is infinite. This is what makes it special beyond qualification. This is also why no one walks through life under the auspices of no potential for depth. The soul has an audacity and the right opportunity to express its boldness and fervor cannot go unnoticed.

Your woman is capable of so much because of this simple premise – it is her soul that compels her to work on being the woman she is striving to be. No one can take this from her – even in an attempt to strip away the very fabric of her being. You can do damage but you can’t hurt her beyond repair. She will heal. But you won’t always get the opportunity to be the repair man for the hurt you attempt to cause her soul.

It is her soul that makes her ability to love beyond measure. It is her soul that gives her touch with her purpose for life. It is her soul that induces her to cry in moments of happiness. It is her soul that causes her to find a way to smile. It is her soul that makes her unique. It is her soul that compels her to stand in and fight for the relationship. It is her soul that moves her to leave when happiness and joy are not possible with you. It is her soul that allows her to forgive. It is her soul that will not allow her to forget. It is her soul that makes her a good woman. It is her soul that makes her a good friend. It is her soul that makes her a good mother. Her soul is her complexity. Her soul is her simplicity. Her soul is her internal beauty manifested externally.

The important thing to recall is that you have the opportunity to feed her soul. This requires an introspective look at more than just you. Look at her. Look at the relationship you want with her and she wants with you. Are you taking an active look at the roles you play in her life? Are you truly feeding the woman she desires to be or are you stuck in the caveman way? Meat for the body is good; meat for the soul has a far lasting impact. She and her soul will be eternally grateful for the acknowledgment.

A man's deepest fear shouldn't be that he's inadequate; it should be that he is not pushing himself to be what he is meant to be - Max

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