Guys get accused of making a lot of mistakes in relationships. Here are ten “mistakes” that we make in relationships:
1. They Take It/Her For Granted
My experience tells me that one of the worst things a woman feels is being taken for granted. Don’t presume because she does it for you consistently that she doesn’t want you to say “Thank You” or “I appreciate what you do for me”. Say it. It goes a long way to helping her feel more appreciated not feeling like you take what she does or your relationship for granted.
2. They Stop Romancing Her
I get it. You’ve been together a long time. You’ll have kids. You have bills out the wazoo. You focus on the responsibility of taking care of your house – but you lose sight of taking care of home. Trust me, there is a difference. Women, regardless of age or time in a relationship want to be romanced on occasion. What did you do to get her? How did you show her you wanted her and no one else? She needs to know that you still want her and don’t view her or your relationship as merely a task that must be completed. Romance is on-going, not a one-time “check-the-box” occurrence.
3. They Let Themselves Go
Imagine if your woman never went to the gym or worked out, ate what she wanted all the time with no regard and never updated her wardrobe or hair. What then? As much you don’t want to admit it, it would be difficult to hold that physical attraction to her. Same goes for you. Go to the gym. Do some cardio. Watch what you eat. Every meal ain’t the last supper. You don’t like to shop? That’s fine. Make sure she has the means to shop for you. Be open to new and fresh styles. Jeans and button downs are cool – but change it up sometimes. Remember, fresh fruit is the one that gets eaten. (in truth, this applies to both sexes)
4. They Make The Mistake Of Thinking “She Needs Me”
It is this thinking that destroys relationships more than we realize. It is ego-driven and counterproductive to a relationship. Basically, it is BS. Trust if she is with you, it is because she WANTS you and WANTS to be with you. Women don’t need us. A woman is going to handle business in spite of you. The moment you start thinking “she needs me”, check yourself. That is the furthest thing from the truth.
5. They Think Fidelity Only Applies To Her
She doesn’t want to question your loyalty to her and the relationship. In fact, she doesn’t want to worry about you with other women. She doesn’t want to question whether or not you are on your best behavior when she isn’t physically with you. Don’t do anything you don’t want her to do. Don’t like her getting sexts from other guys? Don’t sext with other women. Don’t want her having a side dude? Don’t have a side piece. The minute you open the door for her to question your fidelity – you’ve given her room to play.
6. They Stop Evolving
If you are with a woman who is constantly seeking growth – you might want to do the same. Not for her – for you. Find new interests, hobbies etc. The catch is not to put the new hobby or interest ahead of her; it is meant for you to become a better and more evolved person. A woman appreciates and supports your evolution as long as it is not put ahead of your relationship.
7. They Stop Talking With Her
Males by nature are not the talkers women are – that is understood. In the age of social media, emails, texts etc. we don’t talk as much as we used because we think we don’t have to. Not true. Spend at least 30 minutes a day just sitting and talking with her. Joke with her. Stimulate her mind. Remind her (w/o saying it) that you are there to be her sounding board. This may seem like it is a lot but if you don’t, there is a guy out there is more than willing to be that for her.
8. They Forget She Is There To Have Your Back Too
I get it. You are a man. You gotta handle it. You don’t talk about your problems or how you are feeling because that would be less than manly. Wrong. If she is your woman (presuming she is mature), she is okay with you being open with her. She welcomes it. She knows you are human – she doesn’t always expect you to be Superman. In fact, it may even draw her closer to you that you feel comfortable enough with her to open up with her. But don’t get it confused – there is a vast difference between being vulnerable and being weak. She wants a man she respects – not another woman.
9. They Stop Spending Time With Her
You think she’s into the material stuff so you work hard to make sure she has it. She might like it but not more than she likes being with you. That includes spending quality time with you. She enjoys your presence – how present are you if all you do is work and/or run the streets? She wants to know that you enjoy her presence – how will she know that if you never spend any time with her? Nights and weekends at home alone get old real quick to her. She will find something else to do with idle time. Believe it.
10. They Forget To Do The Work
Relationships don’t just happen. They took work to get in them. It takes an infinite amount of work to sustain them. Think about it like winning the Super Bowl. Just because you won doesn’t mean you get to kick your feet up and bask in the glow of the championship. The real work starts right after. Why? Because now there are expectations. Winning the Super Bowl, like starting a new relationship is an accomplishment. But now what? Are you comfortable with the win or do you want more? Don’t mistake “getting” her for “keeping” her. Just like the Super Bowl isn’t a given just because you got it the year before – she won’t stay just because. She needs to be confident that you’ll still do the work.