I won’t go so far as to say I’m in love with strippers, but there is a certain allure to them which makes me fork over countless dollars. I do this sober or intoxicated so alcohol isn’t a contributing factor at all. The female form is intoxicating within itself and in these dens of nudity are women willing to throw booty, breasts, vagina and possibly a whole lot more in your face for a few dollars. Such a great stimulating experience. Of course you have to be careful and make sure you don’t fall to hard. After all, rent has to be paid and a mans got to eat. I’m staying away from all of the many emotional categories that also have an effect because, there are just to damn many. Understanding the stripper means understanding the types. Think of strippers as Pokemon, except they only come in four kinds.
1. Single Mom
This is the most common of the stripper Pokemon, as when the going gets tough, the women who had a kid earlier than expected get stripping. Making ends meet and still holding onto the resentment of the baby daddy who doesn’t show up, call, send money, or give a shit in any way. It will be months of money spent before you can break the barriers this one. You’re more likely to become a friend than a lover as she will want proof of your financial stability and dependability as a man before you make any ground. Probably not worth it in the long run. However, if you’re evil and genius, remember that around holidays/birthdays is when they are most vulnerable.
2. Drug Addict
The worst and best kind of stripper all at the same time. This Pokemon is out and about usually looking to do whatever it takes to get enough money for the fix. Will work extra hard for the almighty dollar, but can be highly prone to thievery. Never, and I mean never pay them for services until they have been rendered unto you. If they can, they will make off with your money faster than a IRS agent. Did you know the IRS has it’s own S.W.A.T. team? Yeah, think about that. Drug addict strippers are the most likely to do extra during regular and private lap dances as long as you’ve got it to spend.
3. College Student
Many people think this is the most common type of stripper. However, these women are what you would call and un-evolved form. They start out as college students and then quickly become obsessed with the money they are making and evolve into full time strippers who forget their dreams of becoming doctors, lawyers or whatever childhood employment they had dreamed up in elementary school. These are the type of strippers that eventually become to old to strip and end playing den mother to a locker room of young stripper girls.
4. The Myth
This would be the ultra rare find when you meet this stripper. Make sure to tell as many people as you can and show up prepared with your Poke-ball in tow. This stripper hits the stage just because she enjoys attention from men and wants to possibly fuck 1/10 of the attractive tippers. Most likely enjoys sex and all things sex so proceed with caution. She just might be more than you can handle.
There are many reasons why women turn to stripping but regardless of the reason they will fall into one of the above categories. As a mark, because face it that’s what you are, don’t believe anything they say, know your account balance and please use a condom. Remember safety first. Gotta Catch Em’ All!
