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As we continue along the path of exploring what women say to us, let’s look at a few more things that are likely at some point to come out of her mouth toward you:

6. “Ok; And?”

This is usually the retort to something you said to her that she isn’t feeling with a great deal of attitude. For example, if you tell her that you’re going out with the guys and she has nothing else to do that evening – you might hear “Ok; And?”. You tell her about something that you want to do and she is not feeling your idea at all – you might hear “OK; And?”. You’re trying to apologize for something you did or something you said to her and she is still pissed with you about what happened. You finish your apology and you hear “Ok; And?”. What do you do? How do you respond? Chances are – if she’s upset with you and hear “Ok; And?”, there is not a lot you can say to her in that moment to make her feel better. If anything, saying more may very well make the situation worse. Conversely, not saying anything can make the situation worse. This puts you in a precarious space.  That space where you might want to think real hard about the next thing that comes out of your mouth.

7. “We need to talk”

There are the four successive words that form a statement that you never want to hear come out of her mouth. Why? Not because talking to each other is a bad thing. It is not. It is because “We need to talk” is never followed with a positive conversation. Never will you hear your woman say “We need to talk” followed by “I just want you to know that I got you tickets for the game this Sunday – on the 50-yard line”. That is not happening – at all. “We need to talk” means a few things. First, it means she has been thinking. She has something on her mind that is a major concern for her. She is wondering about something in your relationship – “We need to talk”. Second, when she says “We need to talk” that really means “I need to talk to you and you better have some answers”. She is not looking for a casual conversation. She is seeking answers. Third, “We need to talk” is often a precursor to a turning point conversation. It means she desire some deepness. Surface level will not fulfill her at this time. She wants you to be open because that is exactly what she is going to do.

8. A conversation that ends with “Do what you want”

Remember when you were a child in school and you’d go on occasional field trips. Before you could go on the field trip, your teacher would send home a permission slip that had to be signed by your parent or guardian saying they were okay with you going on the outing. Remember if you (or one of your classmates) didn’t get the permission slip signed? You (or they) couldn’t go and would have to stay back at the school while everyone else got on the buses and rolled out? Let’s fast forward. “Do what you want” is not her way of giving permission. It is her way of displaying in a passively aggressive tone that you can choose to “Do what you want” but you will not hear the end of it for some time. For example, you went out with your single friends last night and had a blast. You had such a good time that you want to do it again tonight with the same group of single friends. You tell her you’re going out again and she responds with “Do what you want”. What do you do? You do realize that going out again with your single friends is not going to go over well with her. She understands that she does not control you nor does she want to. “Do what you want” means she is not cool with what it is you want to do – at all. But she won’t try to stop you. She’ll just keep this is her “ace” in her pocket for a later time when she wants to do something that you don’t want her doing.  (Note “Do You” at the end of a conversation  is an often used synonym for “Do what you want”)

9. “Are you serious (right now)?”

This doesn’t seem to be a big deal because it often comes out in tone of jest. But remember –there is often truth in jest.   You think she is joking with you. She is not. You think you can talk to her like you do with one of your boys – you can’t. That includes how you joke with her. Say something to her that you would usually only say to one of you friends and you could hear “Are you serious (right now)?”.  Try to justify something you want to do with a meaningless explanation and you’ll hear “Are you serious (right now)?”. For example, tell your lady that you only go to the strip club for the drinks and the music –“Are you serious (right now)?”.  It can also be used in instances where she wonders what you are complaining about this time. “Are you serious right now?” means you probably complain about nonsense too much for her and she’d prefer you stop.

If you are with a woman for any length of time whether she is a relative, friend or significant other – these are words/phrases you are likely to encounter. In some cases they are unavoidable because they come out in emotional droves. Additionally try avoid combinations of these phrases (i.e.” Are you serious”? and “Do what you want” followed by her walking out). Is there a way to avoid them altogether? Yes. Stay single, my friends.

A man's deepest fear shouldn't be that he's inadequate; it should be that he is not pushing himself to be what he is meant to be - Max

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