I was pondering about happiness this weekend. I found myself in deep thought about what is most critical for overall happiness in our relationships.
I asked myself, “Why do so many relationships fail?” Then it hit me. Maybe the cause of my relationship fails (and possibly others) doesn’t have anything to do with the partner I’m dating.
I then asked myself, “How many of us TRULY know if we are mentally healthy?” If a person isn’t happy alone, is it truly possible that meeting someone can magically make them happy?” I looked back at my successful relationships and my failed ones. Ironically, my failed relationships ALL occurred when other factors added stress to my LIFE. I’m mature enough now to honestly see and admit to the fact that I played a part in those relationships failing!
What issues can cause failure in your relationships? It’s subjective. It varies because no two humans are the same but it’s vital that you recognize them on your own. Arguing with a woman you’re dating may come from job related stress, bills piling up or unhappiness with your LIFE.
You can’t possibly have a healthy relationship, marriage or otherwise, if you’re mentally not in the right place. If you’re unhappy, how can you possibly make someone else happy? I was unhappy in ALL my failed relationships. For me, I was unhappy for various reasons (too many to name). I’d argue with my exes based on this unhappiness. Nor my friends, family or my girlfriends had a clue that they weren’t what had me upset, it was something else.
Before you go into your next relationship, do yourself a favor. Make sure you’re happy before subjecting someone to your unhappiness because it is just another failed relationship waiting to happen.
I found that I was looking for each woman to give me the happiness that I desired; the previous woman didn’t provide me. Each relationship had failed because I looked for happiness from an outside source, when the truth is; I was supposed to be happy going into my relationships and making the woman I met better. Sadly, the truth is we go into most of our next relationships with so much baggage; we destroy them before they are fully developed and we mask happiness with sex, dinner and a movie. We mistake sex a lot for happiness and love.
Each of us are like trees or grass, we provide certain good in people’s lives. A blade of grass can provide what it can while trees provide shelter and possibly food as well.
People are the same in that regard. Some of us are blades of grass (beautiful but can’t provide anything of substance long term) while others are trees (provide a plethora of value in the LIVES of others and they are beautiful and fill you up). We should be mindful to make sure that we are trees in the lives of those we date as well as find trees and add them into our lives. We should date and hopefully marry people who provide such happiness. While blades of grass are beautiful they aren’t able to give but so much. Blades of grass (limited people) can’t provide protection or nourishment essential to lifetime happiness.
The most critical element in the world isn’t water or food, it’s LOVE/happiness. You can’t have true love without happiness but you can have happiness and be alone and not be in love.
Go get your fill of happiness STAT before you enter another person’s life, you could bring them joy or your misery if you don’t do so first before entering their lives.