I know I cannot speak for all of you men out there, but when I use the bathroom to do number two in peace, I expect to be afforded the opportunity to relax and conduct my own little secluded space without my wife and kids all up in my face demanding attention. The bathroom is “My Personal Office” and it is a place where business deals, reading novels, watching YouTube, browsing the web to check up on my fantasy league and complete my college assignments, and to keep abreast of my favorite sports teams transactions and records. Why is it when we males go to the bathroom to do our business, it never fails that our significant others coincidentally needs to bother us for no apparent reason? I could be searching for peace and need a little “Me Time” to unwind and release all of the stresses from situations that may have happened throughout the day, and out of nowhere here she comes knocking on the door or pulling on the door knob. It amazes me that she for some odd reason feels she can waltz herself right in without my permission.

My initial thought process is, I know this woman does not want anything, but yet she is all up in my business again. My second thought is, she wants to talk about absolutely nothing at all. My last thought is, she probably wants to spy on the sneak so she can see if I am cheating with some female, be it, texting on my phone or some social media website. This is beyond ridiculous. The more I try to ignore this woman the more she will knock and when I do not respond she then finds some sort of gadget to unlock the door. I thought that I hidden all the door keys and she proves me wrong every time.

So she comes in unannounced just to tell me about what one of her friends or family members said. Then if that is not enough of privacy evasion she invites my kids to come in the bathroom too. Telling them to do chores or brush their teeth, and I am saying to myself “Really, you had all day to do this, now all of a sudden it is a priority?” Why is it that the man of the house cannot get any type of privacy within his own home?

Now we all know if I was to do her like that and include the kids too she would flip out and it would be World War III in our house. For some reason my wife and kids are quiet when I am outside the bathroom, but soon as I get comfortable and relaxed here they come with the questions. Some questions can be said through the door, why do you have to open it to talk? My kids are equally worrisome, too. Daddy may I get a snack? Daddy may I watch cartoons? Daddy may I use the bathroom? I have to do number two! This one really pisses me off. How is it that you have to do number two every time I have to do number two? And, I cannot ignore them all I can do is put my situation to the side for a later time once again. This is a typical occurrence for me on a daily basis. And they all have the audacity to tell me Ewwww you stink Daddy! Ok then get out no one told you to come in here when I am handling my business. Are any of you men experiencing these same issues? Let me know your thoughts!